SOUL MATES V TWIN FLAMES
We grow up hearing all about soul mates and romanticize this ideal love. It has always sounded a little too much like ‘the princess found her prince’ for me to digest, and to be honest I didn’t really believe that such connections existed… that was of course until it happened to me!
Throughout this journey I have met with many others at the same stage of their lives and would like to share with you the questions I have been asked on numerous occasions.
How do I know if he is a soul mate or my twin flame?
There is never any doubt upon meeting certain souls that you have a connection. You just know that they are there to play a major role in your life. But, are they your soul mate, or your twin flame?
Unfortunately, I don’t think you can ever be 100% certain what sort of relationship it is unless you have something to compare it to. However, maybe you don’t need to be asking this question at all. Why? Well, this journey will be a lot easier for you if you are able to just focus on what they are here to teach you, without becoming fixated on attaching a label to the relationship. I know this is easier said than done and you’ve come this far you will have most likely already spent hours on the internet trying to figure it out. My advice to you is to accept that you probably won’t find the answer. You will only ever have what your intuition tells you it is, but no definite confirmation. Save your energy. You are going to need it going forward!
Why is my soul mate/twin flame a narcissist?
I get asked this question a lot! Firstly, we all have some traits of narcissism within us. It’s only when we allow these traits to control who we are that it becomes a problem.
These connections are here to take us to a higher level of consciousness; to live through unconditional love. So, my response is quite simple: if you were sent someone that is already whole and all-loving, you would stay in the state of the love that you already know, conditional love. However, if you have been sent someone that you have such an intense connection with, you will be forced to see in this person, through mirroring; what you need to look at within yourself. Not blind to their many shortcomings as a human, but yet learn how to love them at a soul level, unconditionally. Of course, I am not saying this is an easy process, but it will be ultimately rewarding.
Does this connection ever get any easier? It’s painful!
Many women (it has only ever been women) come to me in tears asking why the men in their connection won’t accept it and form a relationship. Instead, they just run. The biggest and most likely reason for them running is through fear. It is only when they are willing to do their own inner work, to surrender, give up control and start living through an open heart that union will occur. Men have had centuries of conditioning put in place, telling them to be strong and not to show their emotions. To move towards a state where they live with an open heart and are honest with themselves (which is what they will need to do in this relationship) makes them vulnerable and is therefore very difficult. Likewise, you have your own inner conditioning to work through, so buckle up and get ready for the ride! It is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Ultimately this connection isn’t about coming into union. The purpose is to connect you back to your higher self, to source and to take you to a higher level of consciousness. This is where you begin to live from an elevated state of awareness.
This is about you!
When you start to see this soul connection as a beautiful teacher, and not someone who has been sent to deliberately hurt you, it all changes. He is here to help you to become The Best You. Stop obsessing about it being a romantic relationship, this is 3D thinking. It is only our human form that clings to wanting, needing, desiring and that’s why you find it so painful not being in union. Try to understand what this connection is really all about and the letting go begins.
Ask yourself, what is this person showing you that you need to work on? Anything that triggers you, needs your attention to clear it out.
Yes, but what about a union?
Now, I know what I am about to say next isn’t going to sit well with some people, but here goes. No amount of psychics or tarot card readings are going to bring you into union, you each have your own path to walk, and nobody has any control over the issues your twin flame is willing to work through. Save your money.
That said, I do believe a mentor to help you navigate through this journey and guide you with your own healing and inner work is beneficial. Once again though, I must emphasize, even a mentor cannot help with union.
Focus on yourself!
What happens next?
Once you have focused on healing and working through your own wounds (It’s difficult, I know!) you will remember who you are. A powerful being, that knows your worth and that you will always be more than enough. No longer will you need others approval or acceptance. You are at last free and with that comes the knowing that it is ok to love your soul connection unconditionally, from afar. It is now time for you to share this unconditional love to all of humanity in just the same way. Your thoughts, in fact your whole life, will now come from a place of love, from spirit as opposed to from the ego mind. Be grateful for all that you have been shown through this connection. It has taken you, after all, to a place of feeling whole and authentically you, requiring nothing external to yourself. A place of inner peace and happiness.
Give thanks to your soul connection/twin flame from your soul, because ultimately that is where the connection comes from, not from the human mind.