A New Beginning: When a fresh start is not really a fresh start and how to change it to one.
New starts, new beginning, trying something new, it is all pretty common. If we really think about it, we do it every day. We get up and face a new day, which will always have a level of the unknown, without a worry (well for most of us). Yet in that moment when we must consciously make a fresh start in life, we find ourselves stalling. We look for excuses, justifications, as to why this is not the “right” thing to do right now.
Why do we do this?
Why do we so desperately feel the need to stay with what we know?
There are many things in life which can be challenging or scary but none quite as much as when the fresh start forces us to face who we really are and what we really want out of life.
The journey of consciousness from finding ourselves to the leap of faith to start a new beginning is about living through love not fear. This in itself can be scary but the end result is so much better than staying in fear. This is about loving ourselves in order to allow ourselves to fully shine.
My own life journey has many moments when I had to make a new start but none quite as daunting as starting my life anew without my husband. I was no longer in the country I’d spent my last 18 years; I was coping with loss and change on a large scale already. Many would say I was already moving into my new beginning, but it is not about the location, or the people we are (or are not) doing it with. It is about being ready to embrace that change whilst knowing and understanding who you truly are.
Let’s take a step back for a moment.
Have you ever created a new beginning only to have it feel like you are making the same old mistakes?
I’m sure if you reflect enough you will most likely find an occasion where this had happened.
What generally happens here is our new beginning is not really new at all. It is a change of location with the same old person. We may have changed home, job, partner, or pastime but we have failed to change what needed to be changed in order to make it a new beginning. We walk into the new situation with the same limiting beliefs, the same problems and the same attitudes, expecting that because we have changed the surface it will lead to something different, new and shiny.
It does lead to something new but not in the way we were looking for. It generally leads to a new way of telling us we are on the wrong path. We need to connect to ourselves and pay attention to the message.
How do we know if we have made a real start and are consciously moving towards a new beginning or not?
How do we know if we are listening to the message?
Think of a situation where you have started fresh and you are feeling like it is all going well, only to discover that people are doing or saying things around you that seem to push you back or make you feel bad in some way. Every time they hit a certain phrase or a do a certain thing it ‘triggers’ you. You feel an overwhelming need to react and not in the best of ways. We will often go on living with this and the feeling of frustration you get when you are triggered. This will lead to that underlying feeling of dissatisfaction, that we can’t seem to connect to anything or place why we feel that way.
When we become aware of why we are being triggered we are moving into a more conscious frame of mind. It is in this conscious state that we make our best decisions. It is from this higher level of consciousness we can really assess if we are living the life we should or if we need to make a change. If we need to even create a new way of doing things.
When we become conscious of what we react to, why we react to it and what we need to do to fix it we are moving towards being connected to our inner selves. The part of us that knows without us telling it what it is we need and what we need to do to make it happen. The more connected you become to the inner you the easier it is to see the best path in each and every aspect of your life.
This is where you will find your internal peace and happiness, this is where your life will begin to flow through you. At this stage you will no longer feel as though you are fighting against something.
From this place of inner peacefulness and consciousness we can assess what is the right path for us to take. This is how we can determine if we need a change of location or just a change in our goals and path. It will help us to connect to the path we need to take and see more clearly what we need to do in order to make it happen.
At each phase in our lives we will find ourselves doing this. I have had to do this when my husband passed and I was looking at living new life without him. I found that the more I connected to myself the clearer it became what I needed to do to help me achieve my goals. I wasn’t discarding him, or his influence, but I did need to become much more connected to myself to make sure I stepped through the shroud of my grief to reach my inner core. This was the only way I could ensure I was listening to what I needed and how it was best to live this next part of my life.
This is the place you need to start your real new beginning from.
This is the place where you will start truly experiencing life from.
This is when the fear will fade and the love from within you will reach out and allow you to move forward successfully.